How it all began
The last three years have changed a lot of things for me and my life. So much growth, so much transformation, so much renewal and redemption. I think we can all say that life has been a little bit interesting since the start of 2020. How is it already 2024? Wild. Trials and tribulations have been a part of this world for thousands of years. We have just experienced a memorable time in our lives, a time that altered our future and is a part of our history now. As for me, I got engaged in 2020. We lost a loved one in 2021 then I married my husband in 2021. We moved into our house in 2021 and since then have been remodeling it. We experienced a miscarriage on January 27th, 2022. After experiencing an early loss of a baby shortly after our wedding, it felt like we were at a standstill. I fell pregnant again toward the end of 2022. We got pregnant the same month that we would’ve welcomed our first baby. We experienced a lot of transition within our home during that time. A lot of setbacks that resulted in more remodeling of our house. Looking back, those setbacks were completely necessary at that time and such a blessing that we were able to fix those things before the arrival of our baby girl in May! Several questions had surrounded me in 2022.. Such as “How is it possible to start what’s supposed to be the happiest first year of our marriage, while figuring out how to grieve a loss that we weren’t even expecting to begin with?”
James 1:2-4 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” That time was surely a trying time. I wasn’t quite sure how to understand God’s plan through all of it. I felt the strong pull to just skip forward. The result in skipping forward would be missing God’s hand and purpose he had for our pain. Although it took me some time to see that, I had to remember that there was a purpose for the pain, a purpose for our lives, our marriage, our family, and our growth. I had already experienced so much trial throughout my life. I will be writing more bits and pieces about my story as these blogs continue. I knew I had made it through before. I knew that without Jesus in my family and I’s lives, I couldn’t imagine where I would be. When you feel like you are going through the trenches of life, it’s so hard to remember how far you have come. But I remember walking outside in the early spring and feeling the sun shining down upon my face after a long, dreary, lost, yet beautiful winter with my husband. It’s the same sunshine I felt upon my face the morning that I walked outside after finding out our Sandy Dandy had passed away in summer of 2021. Sandy was a grandma to me and my mom’s bestfriend. It was almost as if I could feel heaven shining down on me and I felt the nearness of the Lord, Sandy, and all of the angels rejoicing from above. That spring morning, I could feel the wind, hear the trees, the birds, and the grass was beginning to grow again. Life was beginning to grow again all around me. The Lord was near and spoke to me at that moment.
Growing up, my parents had an awesome garden in our backyard. I loved seeing everything grow, although at that age and time in my life, I wasn’t too fond of going out to help them work on it. I was more worried about what friend I would be hanging out with that specific day. Typically, when you meet your significant other, you discuss and plan out all of your future goals and plans. We both had hopes to live out in the country with land, have a garden, and just reside somewhere that we can enjoy nature and all of the beauty it entails. I always thought that we wouldn’t have that until we were in our 40’s or even 50’s. Finding a house with land was a dream but I thought it was too far-fetched. We were so incredibly blessed to find the house we are in now. There has been SO much remodeling within our little farmhouse cabin. There are 7 beautiful acres of land, a creek, and wildlife. The house has so much character. The ceilings are made of beautiful, detailed, wood beams. Most of the walls are wood paneling; that we have since painted over. We kept the wood floors and have flipped a large portion of our home. It has been a work in progress but we now feel like home and have worked so hard to make it feel like our very own. When we were in our early stages of dating, whenever we would go to home depot, tractor supply, rural king.. Etc., I would stare at the garden materials and stay in the aisles looking at everything around me. I always bought gardening magazines and even seed packets. (I still have some of those with me today.) I never knew when I would officially get started, but I knew I would have a garden of my own one day. I have always had a yearning to create and make things. Thankfully, as a hairdresser, I am able to create and design in my own salon. As a child, I always loved doodling and drawing. I enjoy crafting and creating things that don’t necessarily have specific directions.. (ADHD brain.) The thought of gardening and being able to place seeds and plants where I want and how I want felt like something I really would love doing and I simply couldn’t wait. I just wasn’t quite sure how and when to start. After that long winter my husband and I experienced, I had the strong urge to jump right in and grow a garden. My first garden in our new home. There was so much beauty all around me that was hard to miss. I didn’t want to take what we had for granted! When I would see the sun set in the evening, see the days start to get longer, and beauty coming through and breaking through the stillness and solemness of winter, purpose began to flood my mind. I could see the beauty beneath the depths of winter. The season of winter was necessary for the trees, nature, wildlife, to grow stronger roots and work on developing into something beautiful. You see, winter completes the cycle of dormancy. Or deep sleep. Plants hold onto their energy in reserves so they are ready for action in spring. Soil texture and structure improves while in dormancy and in which allows for better drainage. The snow has a purpose. It nourishes the soil. The plants grow more abundantly and stronger. Without Winter, we miss that necessary rebuilding period of our year. There was an entirely new wave of beauty within my vision that for so many years I would miss. I subconsciously missed the purpose of that while the craziness of life, the hustling, go go go, on to the next way of life took priority in my life. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I realized how much I needed to see and feel that with what I was going through at that time. I told Andy that day that I really wanted to prepare and plan for the garden that spring. He helped me figure it out and I was determined to see something grow. I didn’t care if I saw one sprout, one tomato grow, or one flower petal bloom… I was just so excited to create. Looking back, I have since processed that the strong urge I had was rooted from me not being able to see the baby we had been growing for a short time. I felt robbed of the ability to do what women are made to do. I wanted control of growth. But through the lessons, mistakes, and progress that I saw within my first garden, I realized I never had that control to begin with. It’s not up to me. I can do all of the work, layer my garden beds perfectly to the core. I could water every morning and night. I could pull weeds or treat any fungus. But without winter, nature wouldn’t be strong enough to achieve what it was made to do during its resting period. It reminds me of my faith. Sometimes seasons that hold pain, questioning, and doubt are necessary for true growth and transformation. The seasons that remind us of the stillness of winter and the seasons in which we feel like God isn’t working.. Is actually when the most important aspect of growth takes place. Every year, we get a little bit stronger. A little bit wiser. We gain more understanding, trust, and patience. Patience and trust are crucial to carry us through the difficult periods of our lives. There are years where I have felt like I became more confused and back track more than I would like. Those times are also crucial. Because one day when you look back, you will see that even in those times, you grew. God carried you through. He held your hand and walked you through the despair. He brought you through the flames. When you felt like you were completely stuck and helpless, you were held. To some, that may not feel like progress. It may not feel like anything at all because the pain or confusion you were going through was too much. But in the grand scheme of things, you still pushed through. Somehow, some way. Our lives are a journey. Life brings unforeseen circumstances; such as days where you can’t even get out of bed or feel like you can’t continue. And other times, life feels like the most beautiful thing and you can’t even begin to express gratitude for everything around you. How would we know the good.. Without the bad? How would we have the beautiful spring and summer… without fall and winter? How would we truly feel God’s presence around us without having that despair to feel his nearness when we have nothing left? For me, that is when my life changed. Again. I’ve experienced those moments before. I have experienced God pulling me out of the rubble. I have experienced the strong emotions of making it to the other side of pain and seeing God’s faithfulness. But every time you make it through, you will see that there is a different lesson for each chapter in your life.
God spoke to me in my garden. Every moment that I had an opportunity to go outside and sit in my garden, I would. It was beautiful. I would play music, I would listen to the sounds of nature around me. I had felt so connected to the Lord in those moments. I felt in tune with Him and what He was trying to teach me. I could pull the weeds, and do what I could to strengthen each plant yet I couldn’t see any progress in those moments and that was a crucial lesson. There were so many vegetables and fruit that didn’t succeed, yet so many that thrived. I remember some evenings I would go outside before the sun began to set and I would look toward the sky and I would see the most beautiful sunsets. One time, specifically, when my garden was at its peak, I sat on the swing next to my garden. The sky was the most vivid shades of blue and pink. I had to take a picture of it because it was a reminder for me that one day we would have a baby of our own. The desire in my heart was so strong to have a baby earth side with us while desperately wondering and grieving who our first baby would’ve been. I wondered if they would have been a boy or a girl. But because of my garden, I knew that everything would be okay. Regardless of what couldn’t grow, couldn’t thrive, couldn’t be sustained… more will come. There will be new roots, new growth, new life. “In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born," says the Lord. "If I cause you pain, I will not stop you from giving birth to your new nation," says your God. Isaiah 66:9
That summer we decided to add chickens to our home. My husband and his brother Aaron built me an amazing chicken coop. Our awesome friends, Brooke and Josh, gave us our first 8 chickens. I question my decision now, but we also got 4 ducks from rural king. Ducks are a whole different story. We still have our chickens and will soon plan on adding more to our coop. We have two barn cats now, Scratch and Adso. There is something beautiful about being outside with all of the animals following you around. We, mainly I, hope to one day add more animals to our homestead. Maybe a dairy goat or 2…. And maybe one day a cow x 3-5, lol. I never owned farm animals but a tiny fun fact about me is that I did show a pygmy goat and a pig one year in 4-H. Haha! We want a big dog to run around with, with our Otis. Since that summer I have continued in learning more about gardening and how to make more things homemade. The following year, while pregnant, we spent a lot of time working on our house like I shared above and getting ready to have our first baby. She was due June 8th, 2023. I told so many people that she better arrive AFTER Mother’s Day weekend because I have to plant a garden that weekend. Sure enough, she arrived one month early; the week before Mother’s Day. Obviously my priorities changed but after we made it home as a family.. My husband went to Menard’s and got me some starters to plant in the garden. We didn’t have any time to prepare the beds or anything like that but we planted everything anyway. I was so happy to be standing out there; watching my husband plant while I was holding my baby. It was a full circle moment, like finally seeing the hard work play out and gratitude for not giving up. My garden didn’t do so well that season, but that’s okay. You best believe I would run outside when I had a quick break from pumping or feeding the baby and she was napping. I would water everything as fast as I could and inspect any new growth taking place. Although I only got some tomatoes, some cucumbers, and some peppers, my marigold and calendula flowers took off! I plant those for the sole purpose of attracting good pollinators and deterring wildlife. They were spreading and growing like crazy. I have a passionate interest in herbalism and creating natural household items that don’t contain a lot of chemicals. So I started reading and doing my research on those flowers and they are both very good for your skin. I researched how to make marigold/calendula salve and that’s when I started the process of making my salves! I will write more in a future blog about how I make my salves and the benefits of them. My friend, Brooke, shared at a class once, that you can be a homesteader anywhere. You don’t have to live on 100 acres of land with all of the farm animals, a humongous garden and make everything from scratch. You could live in an apartment in New York City; baking sourdough bread and having a few herbs growing on your back patio. If you are growing anything at home, you are homemaking. It doesn’t have to be complicated. The simplicity of it all is what I love. I think we can all say coming from such a busy society, that most of us are craving simplicity, peace, and to live at a slower pace. Zero room for perfection. That is so out. I have always loved cooking and baking. I love my home, thrifting and antiquing for the decor in my home. I love crafting & creating. I love baking bread, home cooked meals, and making natural products for my family. I love the garden and trying new things each year. I love nature and discovering all that is in my backyard. This lifestyle allows you to make whatever you want at home, grow whatever you want, and just have creativity in your own space. It’s brought me to a place of trying new things, new skills, new tasks. I love that so many people are taking interest in this way of life… in my opinion, ANYONE can do it. Like I said, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Homesteading and homemaking is bringing so many people together and bringing back old ways that have always been around but so many have fallen away from. I took, what I thought was bare at the time, my backyard and created something beautiful. We grow food for our home and can share with friends and family. One day we will learn how to make our food and prepare our shelves better. What I look forward to most is.. This summer with my daughter, who will be one, and showing her the vegetables and flowers that her mom and dad planted and hoping to create this beautiful life for her. We hope to show her how beautiful nature is, to love the animals and wildlife around us, and ultimately how good God is! And who knows, one day we will look out to the sunset, holding her in our arms, and it could be blue and pink like it was a couple of summers ago. And it will be the most beautiful reminder that there is always something great ahead. Even though through your eyes it may look gray, dull, cold, and sparse. If you choose to see the light, the beauty that’s around you, and where you have been before, you will be reminded that there is something to hold on to, to hope for, to long for.. While choosing to grow and to be in the present. Because something beautiful is around the corner, waiting to grow. But it’s in the current and present moment that is just as important and special. Just like winter, the roots and the soil are strengthening all around us. New life is beginning, ready to grow, new chapters are going to begin, and it will be oh so beautiful. Just look up, look ahead, look around you, grow and do what you can and you will see the fruition take place.
So, welcome to Riley Roots Homestead. This is how and where it all began. We have lived here since 2021 and hope to for many more years. We’re all a little bit crazy, silly, adventurous and hope to share some of our stories about life, love, family, passions, and homemaking with you!
Thank you for being here,
Lexi
