Help me to show others that You are found in and all around the garden.
Summertime is here! April, May, June, and so far, this month, has been full of sunshine, outdoors, weed pulling, pruning, dirt covered feet and hands, and most of all, memories being made. We celebrated our daughter's first birthday in May and have gone on a few weekend long trips. We got more chickens and added “Gretel”, an english lop rabbit to our homestead. Our garden has been relocated and I’m overjoyed with the new location and layout of my favorite space. Year after year, summer has grown on me more and more. I used to not have a favorite season, although I do love them all. It’s just that there is something sweet and special now about walking outside without the need to bundle up. Or watching Vivianne play with her water toys, dirt, picking flowers, watching the chickens, or laughing at our dog Otis sprint around the backyard. Last summer was so sweet and precious with her. She and I were figuring out this new way of life together. Seeing her personality grow and watching her process all of the things is just so fascinating. What I love the most is her love for Andy and I. What a gift it is to be relied on so heavily for basic care and love. Seeing just how vastly different and how much she has grown since last summer is amazing to me. They truly grow so, so fast!
Back in February, I started seeds indoors for the very first time. I asked for most of the seeds I wanted to grow this year on my birthday. I was so incredibly nervous, as silly as that may sound. I mean, I’m just planting a seed in soil, watering it, keeping it under a grow light, and watching it grow… right? Well in the previous years, I had bought my garden starts from home depot and our local greenhouse nursery as I was figuring the gist of it out. I research like crazy. I had everything written out in my journal as to when to start specific seeds indoors. Almost every week, I planned on taking some time to sit down and get going but I would continue to put it off. Finally, once I followed through and just went for it, I thought to myself.. What was so bad about that? Ultimately, I was worried that all of them would either die or not even sprout, which would result in Andy and I spending MORE money on starts in the spring. I’ve directly sowed seeds before outdoors but doing something new and different was just something I didn’t feel overly confident in. Week after week, I could see each little sprout starting and growing. I would take more time to thin the seedlings out and separate them into their own individual little containers.
Fast forward to March, my starts were doing really well and I had to get rid of quite a few because I underestimated the seeds ability to germinate. We began prepping our garden beds and worked on a new layout. If you’ve seen my garden out there…It is a nice, long walk out there and every year we had to make a few trips with watering cans to water the garden. I didn’t mind until Vivianne came along. Carrying heavy watering cans while wearing a baby on my chest is a special kind of workout. (Shoutout to Crossfit for making daily functional activities a little bit easier.) Well, once April came along, it began raining very heavily and we experienced a lot of flooding. The creek in our backyard rose and it flooded like crazy. The water has never risen high enough to completely flood my garden and get so close to our house. Thank God that our house sits a little bit higher and it stopped when it did. Our chicken coop was floating and all of my garden beds/frames went for a swim in the woods. That is about the time we officially decided to relocate the garden and move it closer to the house and closer to our water source. During the month of May.. Andy, his dad, and brother came together and dug out all of the large rocks/weeds and put together new beds. I couldn’t be more grateful for the change of location and how beautiful everything looks now when you step outside our back door. Spending our evenings on the back patio while harvesting, playing with Vivianne, having friends and family over, while surrounded by all of the fruits of our labor is just so wonderful!
This year, I am growing tomatoes, hot peppers, green beans, sugar snap peas, cucumbers, cantaloupe, watermelon, strawberries, zucchini, lettuce, carrots, onions, lots and lots of different herbs, zinnias, sunflowers, marigolds, calendulas, amaranth, bachelor button, pumpkins, potatoes, and more flowers that I’m sure I am missing. I often get asked why I grow so much. Not only do I absolutely love growing our very own food in our backyard, but also learning how to preserve and prolong the life of each vegetable/fruit that grows. The amount of joy I feel while watching something grow and witnessing the daily changes of each crop is undeniable. What once was so little, vulnerable, yet holding so much viability and potential is actually a miracle. It’s in the process of creating such strong and deep roots. It is growing and developing every second, throughout every day and night. With each rising of the sun, comes a new day. These are two very different examples, but the process does remind me of pregnancy. You find out you are pregnant, and then the fear sometimes begins to creep in. But we can forget how strong babies are in such a tiny state! Every single minute, hour, and day they are growing even when we can’t feel or see it take place. Little seedlings and little babies are so resilient with the right nutrients and sanctuary to grow in!
As for my garden now, the plants may look wilted by the sun on some days. After the sun begins to set and more water quenches the roots and soil, they begin to rise back up and feel strong again. A new wave of energy and strength has come over them and they are replenished. It is so amazing when you really think about how each specific flower, fruit, vegetable, potato, etc., have their own specific needs. A cucumber or zucchini plant may need help with pollination, while pumpkins need space, room, and extra nutrients to grow to their full size and potential. Strawberries need fresh and ready soil to expand and plant new runners into the ground. Cantaloupe and watermelon need a strong trellis or a strong mound for support of the growing fruit. Flowers need water. Tomatoes need space and cages to help them grow tall and strong, almost like a backbone. The bees and pollinators need the nectar inside of the flowering fruits/vegetables. Some of these crops do not grow well and aren’t viable if they are not in the environment they need. They cannot flourish. They will wilt and eventually stop growing without the proper nutrients, water, or sunlight. They may catch diseases and be taken over by pests. If the sun never set at night, they would become too tired to keep on keeping on. A pumpkin could begin to grow in a little tiny corner of a garden bed but it would take over everything else growing all around it, which would then lead to suffocating the other growing plants. If a cucumber didn’t have bees to help pollinate the female flower, cucumbers wouldn’t grow to it’s potential or grow any at all.
God is everywhere. In our young and early stages. He surrounds us with the necessary elements in this world to survive. He knows what we need. Unfortunately, for so many, some are not born into the best environment to grow and flourish. Some paths change along the way. We move homes, locations, grow family’s, have kids… all of our individual needs change whenever we go through change. And God is already there and knows what they are.
Psalm 18:30 says, “God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all to look to him for protection.”
If there is anything I have truly learned throughout the course of my life, it’s that God is never turned away. No matter the depth of the situation you are in, God is in control. No matter how far away you are or even how you feel, He is right there. There are countless moments in the last year where I have felt confused, and have asked, “why me?” To be raw and real, my family has experienced all sorts of different traumas throughout our lives and have been experiencing a heavy situation this past year. As well as one of my near and dear best friend. But I can tell you this, God is still good. Because of my journey and story, I have always been told that I have childlike faith and I believe it. A lot of times, the only one I felt like I could heavily and solely rely on is Him. Next to my husband. But there are still a lot of questions and uncertainty. Why is it a constant trial and a constant journey that feels like the most strenuous and exhausting walk of my entire life? Am I allowed to feel this way when I also have so many blessings and so many beautiful people in my life? Or “I shouldn't feel this way because I have my daughter that I need to be strong for.” The truth is, I wouldn’t be strong for her and be the mother I aspire to be if I didn’t have weak moments. I have learned that God asks for and wants those fragile, intimate, vulnerable, devastating moments dropped at His feet. Jesus lived on this earth and died on the cross so we could give Him our burdens and rest in the fact that He knows our desperation. Some things may not make sense in your life and some things may never fully make sense. But He is our shelter and our hope! He knows exactly what we need, when we need it. And believe me, some days I have to TRY and remind myself of that truth time after time. It is never easy. I would say that since I was 18 years old, I have felt grateful and thankful for the story that I have and for the difficulties in my family and I’s lives. Why? Because I am able to share this. The truth that I so desperately wish every single person could feel and know to their core. But what my family is experiencing right now is different and there’s no answer as to why we are experiencing it right now. As I’m sure many of you have or are currently experiencing something similar. Life sure can be confusing.. And disheartening. What I do know is that I have someone that I can rely on, and it’s Him. Why WOULDN’T I want to know the One who doesn’t require that we have to have it all figured out and have to put up a front in front of Him? But truthfully, He knows our hearts and what we need to thrive. Right now, for me, I need peace to fill me up inside when I feel as though I have wilted, need water, more nutrients, and a stronger back bone to support me when I feel like I can’t stand up tall. So many believe that God is a give and take God, a God who answers “yes” or “no” or has strings attached. “You did this so I don’t love you,” or “I’m ashamed of you.” It is absolutely, quite literally, the opposite. He wants us to run to Him, fall at His feet, and not even say anything at all. If we ask for it, He will give us strength when we feel like even waking up the next day is a challenge. He just wants you, me, us. Nothing is required besides your heart. Give Him your burdens, your anxious thoughts, your questions, your uncertainty, your abandonment, your grief, your anger, your guilt, your prayers… He will fill you back up with the needs specific to YOU and what you personally need to flourish.
Being in the garden is where I can process all of my thoughts, emotions, and truly bask in nature, experience peace, and rest. While I’m working and getting my hands dirty, there is something that comes over me where I can just focus and not have a million thoughts running through my head at once. It allows me to be the best wife and mother I can be. Besides when a crop or harvest is ruined by raccoons, cats, or annoying pests. Ha! Gardening has helped me get through a lot in my life. I know gardening, taking care of animals, scooping up manure, being in the scolding sun, may be just a thing to do. A chore, a tiring task. While it can be those things for me…. Which I can assure you that it is sometimes and even in certain moments… When I think back at the end of the day; how I felt before vs. after working outside, I realize that for me… it’s exactly what I needed. It helps guide my thoughts back to reality. It quiets my thoughts and leads me back to “still waters.”
Psalms 23:2-4 “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
My life is good. It’s filled with blessings, family who love me, amazing friends, a safe home, and countless reasons to look forward. Are my circumstances the best? Not all of them. Am I experiencing trials that don’t make very much sense? Yes. But I am not alone. You are not alone. Look for your reasons, your “why’s,” your hobbies and passions that fill you with peace. And if you know Him, let Him fill you with peace. You don’t have to have anything figured out on your own. One day things may make sense. And one day you still may have a million questions. But rest in the fact that we aren’t meant to understand everything. Just like a flood taking place. We took a spot that was once flooded and we were able to create a new, beautiful, stronger space. Now, where the flood took place, there is new, fresh, beautiful green grass and life growing. You move to the next spot and start over. Just like the vegetables/fruit in the garden… There are countless disturbances that interfere while they are growing. They feel weak and disease ridden. They end up even wilting and sometimes are too weak to go on. Yet with a leap of faith, new seeds can be planted and there is room for more growth and second chances. We might have learned more tips and tricks and gained resources to help the growth take place. That is what life is all about. Keep on going. Keep on moving forward. Keep learning and looking for reasons. They could be right next to you and all you have to do is be still. Beautiful things will grow after the storm, precious lessons can be learned, and strength will be renewed and gained every single day. That is why I hope and pray that I can show others that He is found in and all around the garden.
Thank you for reading this. I hope it can speak to just one of you.
More blogs & exciting things to come from Riley Roots Homestead. Stay tuned!
Xoxo,
Lexi
